Monday, July 6, 2015

Depression Is A Scary Thing !

Long time not talk , I know I've been gone for a while . I just stopped posting and I just wanted to update you on what's going on .

Depression is a scary thing . Not feeling motivated and sad all the time and sometimes I don't even know why . If it wasn't for work and having to pay my bills I wouldn't get out of bed most days . I feel like I'm always on the verge of tears  . I put on the mask to hide how I've really been feeling . But lately it hasn't been that well . I've been going on this personal downward spiral to no where .

I don't know what I'm doing in my life most days , just going with flow but no structure .
It's get so bad some days I could laying in bed and I know I have errands to run but I won't get up . In the back of head I tell myself to get up but the big weight on my chest ( my depression ) doesn't allow me to , I just lay there . Laying there in my thoughts .
I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me . And it took me talking to my brother to figure out what has been bothering  me .
I'm scared !
Scared something tragic is going to happen . The past two summers something tragic and life changing has happened to us and I guess my mind is already conditioned to expect something else to happen.
Spring 2013 our mother passed and Summer 2014 our  father passed . Who wouldn't expect something else would happen . And now with both of my grandmothers in the hospital my depression just went into overdrive .

Yesterday as I was getting ready for work . I stopped mid shower and started praying . I have to break this , feeling  this way is literally making me sick .

Then after my prayer I burst into song . One of my favorite praise and worship songs ( Jesus at the center )
Singing the chorus and having that one on one time with the lord . Is what I needed from the beginning . The devil has been working overtime trying keep me depressed .
But I have an amazing father , the king of kings walking me through this storm .

I've been feeling better but I'm not 100% . Its a daily struggle but I know with God by side I can do anything .

I'm not gonna promise daily post but I'm going to slowly work my way back this month and I have a lot of stuff for August already planned and written . Bare with me I promise you're gonna love it . I have some great reviews and a possible giveaway coming soon and of course more post about my dating/ personal life and a new series I can't wait to start for this new journey in my life .
Thank you for all the love and supports .

P.s : this is my blog's anniversary month . I can't believe it's almost 3 years I've been sharing my life and the things I love with you guys .

Brittany Morgan

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