Tuesday, November 30, 2021
healing
Sunday, September 5, 2021
Opening Up
Getting use to the silence and focusing on me. My mental hasn’t been in the best of places and I usually just keep it to myself but this time I decided to reach out and hopefully have someone to finally listen.
Big mistake!
The first person I talked to face to face. It felt good to finally vent let out the emotions I kept bottled in tears started flowing out, but then I looked up. That person looked at me no emotions and just replied “ Ok”. I just sat there and finally opened. And the one person I thought would listen didn’t care. I just quickly dried my tears and walked away. But I didn’t give up I’m like some one has to listen right. I just wanted someone to tell how I was feeling was normal. So I waited a bit longer to build up the courage to try again.
Epic Fail!
I decided this time I’ll do it by text this time because face to face wasn’t an option. The conversation was going great and I finally mentioned feeling alone for a while and the reply was “ mmm ok”
What the Hell
I think they might have taken it as a personal attack but I was only talking about my mental health. I know they and I haven’t talked as much this year as we did in the past but I didn’t think they would take my words personally, when I was only speaking about myself.
For years I've been told that I was always closed off and I never let anyone in, and that true.
It has been so hard for me to open up when I couldn’t even trust the one person on this earth that should've had my back, it made it hard for me to trust anyone.
My word has been use like weapons against to try to hurt me more
I've decided to not let those two experinces keep me from trusting because I want be that closed off emotionless person anymore.
Today I woke up in a better place. Thanks to a great friend and a listening ear I feel great. I just needed someone to listen, I just needed someone to care. I appreciate those in my life that are there for me.
xoxo
Brittany Morgan
Friday, July 30, 2021
Our Vegas Angel
I was recently talking to my brother and a friend about our previous Vegas trip. And then I remembered our angel. I call her an angel because she saved our lives. Call me dramatic but she did.
July 2019 my friends and I went to Vegas and stayed at a pretty popular resort. I had only seen this place in pictures, it’s gorgeous. After finally getting checked in we made it up to our rooms. Beautiful rooms but we was slightly disappointed. We had asked for adjoining rooms but after getting upstairs we quickly realized that not what we reserved. ( Owell first world problems) After freshening up we hit the strip for a quick bite to eat. We ended up taking longer than expected and had to hurry back to the room to meet my friend/ trip roommate to let her in.
My friend and I went it went our room and quickly met with the group. While in the hallway we exchanged pleasantries with the housekeeper, she asked if we needed anything and we told her we had just got there and we was fine and thanked her. As we continued our conversation , my friend and I mentioned how our hotel door took forever to close.
Most doors close instantly but I could walk to the other side of the room and the door would still be cracked. And that’s when the housekeeper spoke up again.
She informed us that we should ask for new rooms
Not even 24 hours before we arrived two women had been robbed in the room across the hall. They had been having door issues like us. The women had went out for a day on the strip and came back to nothing. They had got into their room and took everything. They even found the car in the parking garage and took the car too.
We all instantly had a pit in our stomachs. We thanked her and went directly downstairs and asked for new rooms. After a couple of exchanges with the manager and a few food vouchers later we had new rooms. The new rooms were perfect, adjoining rooms and my brother’s room had a great view.
Though I never saw the housekeeper again I still think about what she did for us.
Most people don’t speak up and it could truly change people lives. Yes, I know it was just a trip but this world is crazy and something could’ve happened.
I’m thankful she said something and we had a great trip because of her.
Our Vegas Guardian Angel
Xoxo
Brittany Morgan
Wednesday, July 21, 2021
Dog Mom Life
I love being a dog mom
I never thought I would have another pet after being forced to give my cats away I was over having pets
The day I had to give away Tinkerbell and Gatsby was heartbreaking
Getting Nola was a very unexpected but she's been my "pretty girl"
My friend asked me to join her at a loca fundraiser for a rescue she heard of
I instantly fell in love with a cute little chihuahua. She was mine the minute I picked her up
I had to have her. I had her name pick out and everything( Elle,after the character from legally blonde)
Only two things was holding me back, my landlord and my brother
In our lease dogs are not permitted but I remembered my neighbor had and emotional support animal. I had no idea where to begin.
My brother was extremely scared of dogs but I figured getting a small one he would agree to get one
I wanted this dog, I needed this dog
I rushed over to my brother's job and showed him a picture of the dog
I think he saw the excitement in face and agreed to come meet Elle after work
He finally made it to the fundraiser to meet elle but another dog had his attention
Nola Darling
I never seen my brother so interested in a dog at one point he was on the ground playing with her
I knew she had to come home
The rescue owner allowed us to foster her for a week to see if it would be a good fit for all of us
Once we got her home and she instantly went to her bed I knew she felt at home
Nola was my brother's birthday gift that year but we shortly realized who her owner truly was.
November of 2020 I got my second baby
My brother wanted a dog of his own since Nola had quickly attached to me
For months he asked for a second dog but after living through this pandemic I figured the home needed something new and Nola seemed really lonely at times
Sirius Black
Yes, i named him after one of favorite Harry Potter characters
Sirius came in taking over
He was only 7 months old when he brough him home and unlike Nola he had no training
So i took on the role as trainer which bonded the two of us
So now I'm a Dog mom of 2 and I wouldn't have it any other way.
xoxo
Brittany Morgan
Monday, July 19, 2021
I'm Back
Long Time No Post
It feels good to say I am a full-blogger now
Sorry for the lack of content but get ready for multiple post a week
Currently the schedule will be Monday,Wednesday,Friday and an occasionally Saturday
I have a few series planned for the year and a few post I wrote that I still want to share
I definitely need to catch your all up
Work
I no longer work in hell
My employment there ended due to having my second job but it was the best feeling ever
Weeks before being fired I was constantly getting sick mentally and physically,That place was draining me
That job took so much out of me so when the store manager called me in her office to end my employment, a weight literally lifted off my shoulders
I couldn't help but smile, I was finally free
Free from the toxic work enviroment
Free from the mistreatment
Free from the stress
For months going to work was a chore
I would find myself having panic attacks the minute my alarm would go off for work
That place was literal hell on earth
I'm sure til this day the manager thought I was crazy because I happily handed them my work items and left smile and for once felt some peace
You shouldn't have cry your whole drive to work
I would throw up on a daily basis before work because of the stress
I'm thankful to no longer be in the enviroment
I still do have a job but it allows me the freedom to write more and focus on my dreams
Love Life
Dating is GHETTO
Dating in the era of hook up culture is not for me
I feel like im either meeting people who barely wants to know my name and only wants to fuck
Or someone who wants a relationship after saying "Hello"
I've kissed my fair share of frogs but one has turned into a prince
No, I'm not in a relationship but I like him and he likes me, were happy
(maybe I'll have another update in the future,til then.....)
xoxo
Brittany Morgan
Monday, June 21, 2021
My Own Priorities
Lately I've been putting all my focus on myself
Making sure I'm the priority.
Setting more boundaries and working my personal growth
I spend so much time helping and solving others problems
At the end of the day I was forgetting about myself.
I was constantly building other for their goals and I wasn't focussed on my own goals
This summer I want to take the time to dive head first into Perfectly Imperfect Brittany fulltime
I want to finally give this blog fighting chance to grow and to help people
I'm working on re-branding and giving my social media a facelift
There will be a posting schedule(details later)
I want to have fun and share all the amazing content I have in store for you all
Thank you for always being here
Time for a change
I want my words to matter
Brittany Morgan
Tuesday, May 11, 2021
On My Own Timeline
My next move will be a big move
I haven't decided when and where yet but I will soon
I finally am on a career path that will put me right back or near where I'm from
But is that where I want to move
That's the only thing that is holding me back from making my decsions
Where do I want to be?
Yes, if i move back i will be closer to friends but I realized I can't base my next moves on others nor speed up my timeline on when I will take the leap
With one friend married and the other living with a signiciant other I don't have any single girls who wants to do bald headed hoe shit.
Though Chicago is looking more like the goal I want a fun area or be near a fun area to go out make new friends and still see my sisters when they're free
I feel like over past 10 years my decisons have been made out of fear, pain, sadness and others timelines
I won't do that again
Stay Tuned
More to come soon
xoxo
Brittany Morgan
Wednesday, February 3, 2021
Love Don't Live Here Anymore
Love
Sometimes I laugh at the thought of it
There are so many reasons why I hesitate when it comes to love
It started by watching my parents marriage. I don't remember them being happy.
Everything and everyone else was more important to Dad than us.
I remember him disappearing on weekends
I had no idea where he was going when he wasn’t around until he took me to a cousin's house one week day
I thought it was weird because it was in the hood in Chicago and he never wanted us in that environment especially after dark
So I was watching all the kids because all the adults went to the basement to watch tv
They left a baby there and she started crying so went to kitchen to grab her a bottle the fridge
The fridge was right next to the stairs to the basement and I look down and see my father kissing this random as woman.
I ran to the back porch in shock and called my grandma ( my dads mother) and told her what I saw and she couldn’t believe it.
But she told me I need to tell my mom. And after collecting myself for a moment before I called my mom, my dad rushed out where I was.
He slapped me and told me he hated me and told me I ruined our family.
Of course I still told my mother and shit went down hill from there
He still went away every weekend but I now knew where he was.
My mom had a car and he didn’t and he would threaten to kick her out the house if she didn’t take him to work (it was dad’s parents house they had moved to Georgia)
My mama saved all the money she could and one weekend he left we moved out.
We got all the big stuff and majority of all the other things and left.
But we forgot our book bags for school so we went Monday morning because he would’ve been at work by then.
We got there and he moved in his girlfriend ( the woman I saw him kissing) and her two kids.
Though this isn't the full set of stories, there are so many more sub stories but I am not here to air out their dirty laundry but some stories really shaped my life and how I look at things
xoxo
Brittany Morgan
Monday, February 1, 2021
The Love Of A Friend
Ashley
I met Ashley freshman year of high school
When we first met we didn't like each other ( stupid teenage minds)
Over time we gravitate more to each other
We had our little friend group but Ashley was my person
She was the one I could truly be myself with
And after high school we were the only two standing from our friend group
I am so thankful for Ashley
Lord knows I have a hard time showing my emotions but Ashley always knew when something was wrong
Our friendship hasn't alway been rainbow and sunshine but we worked through the storms because we love each other
I can't believe it has been 16 years of friendship
I never let anyone in that much to even think that I would have a friendship that would last this long.
We helped each other through some dark and painful time
We've also been there to celebrate many milestones
Ashley is getting married in a couple of months
She has met this amazing man, I am so happy for the both of them
Watching my best friend fall in love is truly a beautiful thing
I got watch her grow into this amazing woman and soon an amazing wife and mother
I thank God for her every day
I'm excited to see where God takes our friendships and the many more milestones we have to walk through
xoxo
Brittany Morgan
Friday, January 8, 2021
Edge Naturale: Follicle Enhancer
Disclosure: I was sent this product by Edge Naturale to try and review. Below are my actual results and my honest opinion.
My hair journey has been an interesting one. My hair has always been falling out dry, brittle nothing seemed to work until I started using Edge Naturale. A huge spot in my head that is usually mostly bald has started to grow back all thanks to Edge Naturale Follicle Enhancer. Using Edge Naturale has been a big game changer for me. I love that it is a one product systems which is great when you alway on the go it definitely helps cut down my hair day time. I always found myself using 6 or 7 product on my patches with hope of them growing back. ( they never worked) . I feel comfortable knowing the ingredients in Edge Naturale are safe and I know actually what I’m using. Recently I decided to cut my hair off, so all my hair is the same length of my patches so it all can grow together. I'm excited to see this product work on my hair. I usually don't like scented products but im in love with the peppermint scent that stands out and the tingling sensation feels great on my scalp.Edge Naturale has a great system for their long time user if you decide to pick the subscription you'll get 20% off, that's an amazing deal. Choosing to accept Edge Naturale was the best decision I've made. When I first got the email I went straight to their social media and seeing nothing but all shades of women that look like me I knew I had to take this opportunity. I'm grateful to Edge Naturale for giving me the opportunity to try their product and I look forward to working with them in the future.
Saturday, January 2, 2021
Year Of Me: Healing From A Bad Friendship
Last year I spent most of the year focused on others
I spent way too much of my time worried about a friendship when I should have thought about myself.
I learned to be my own best friend. That situation brought up so many issues that I had that I needed to work on.
I know I'm a damn good friend in the future when I feel like someone no longer wants me around I need to be at peace and let them go
I was so worried about her not including me in her life and feeling abandon that I lost track of what was really important MYSELF
I don't blame her for everything that happened between us
I should have communicated on how I was feeling instead of lashing out on twitter.
I should have set more boundaries with her
I was there even when I shouldn't have
One night I asked her to hang out but she told me she just wanted to chill at home which was cool because I have those days as well
But later that evening I got a call asking to walk her dog because she was called into work.
Confused on why she couldn't walk her own dog I found out she went out with her other friends
The petty in me wanted to say no and tell her to ask one of the people she was with to walk her dog but I wanted to see her pup because at that point I hadn't seen her in weeks.
That happened so many times I would want to do something but she would say she was too tired and wanted to stay home but then turn up in my complex with her other friend
That shit hurt
I also learned that I need to express to people what I need in a friend.
I can't be the only one planning outings and when we hang out.
That was definitely our issue
I was always asking to hang out, always planning things
And when I stopped our friendship did as well
I heard from her less and less
I felt like if I wasn't offering a free meal I didn't see her
I had never felt broken from a friendship
I felt like I gave so much of myself and it wasn't appreciated
I had to remind myself to put me first and not care what others do
Though since then my friend and I have worked on a better friendship I definitely look at things differently and learned so much from that process.
I learned that it's ok to say no.
I often overplay my position in people’s lives
I used to think it was because I had such a big giving heart, but now I’m understanding I lack boundaries
I’m always going above and beyond for those I love and when it’s not returned I find myself in my feelings
I don't have to alway be there and do things for people when it draining to me mentally and physically
I realize I give way too much of my time and energy
I've always been the one to help even when I don't want to but I always show up with a smile on my face and do it anyways.
Even though I was still in the thick of my pain I still helped organize a birthday party and big zoom gathering for her
And the crazy thing is the friend she was always with ( the one she basically dropped me for) originally was going to plan something for her birthday but of course she didn't
As an outsider to that friendship I noticed the other girl really didn't care about her
It was definitely a one-sided friendship with them but my friend didn't see it
My friend took her on a Law school visit with her and she thought getting high was the right thing to do basically turning it into a party for herself
That situation hurt me so much because I was the one helping her study for her LSAT and giving her the practice test
We had always talked about me going with her and when the time came around I wasn't even a thought
Sitting her now in January we are friends
How? I don't know?
Covid?
Her "friend" dropping her like a bad habit?
Who knows!
It must have been God because I did not see this friendship lasting past March with the way these were going
Am I still mad? No
Hurt? Yes
But the love I have for her is what kept and keeps me willing to work on bettering our friendship
Though we will never be friends like before but we have an opportunity for a better friendship
Lesson Learned
xoxo
Brittany Morgan