Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Love Don't Live Here Anymore

Love

Sometimes I laugh at the thought of it 

There are so many reasons why I hesitate when it comes to love

 It started by watching my parents marriage. I don't remember them being happy.

 Everything and everyone else was more important to Dad than us.

 I remember him disappearing on weekends

 I had no idea where he was going when he wasn’t around until he took me to a cousin's house one week day

 I thought it was weird because it was in the hood in Chicago and he never wanted us in that environment especially after dark

 So I was watching all the kids because all the adults went to the basement to watch tv

  They left a baby there and she started crying so went to kitchen to grab her a bottle the fridge

The fridge was right next to the stairs to the basement and I look down and see my father kissing this random as woman.

 I ran to the back porch in shock and called my grandma ( my dads mother) and told her what I saw and she couldn’t believe it.

 But she told me I need to tell my mom. And after collecting myself for a moment before I called my mom, my dad rushed out where I was.

He slapped me and told me he hated me and told me I ruined our family.

  Of course I still told my mother and shit went down hill from there

 He still went away every weekend but I now knew where he was.

 My mom had a car and he didn’t and he would threaten to kick her out the house if she didn’t take him to work (it was dad’s parents house they had moved to Georgia)

 My mama saved all the money she could and one weekend he left we moved out.

 We got all the big stuff and majority of all the other things  and left.

 But we forgot our book bags for school so we went Monday morning because he would’ve been at work by then.

 We got there and he moved in his girlfriend ( the woman I saw him kissing) and her two kids. 

Though this isn't the full set of stories, there are so many more sub stories but I am not here to air out their dirty laundry but some stories really shaped my life and how I look at things

xoxo

Brittany Morgan 


Monday, February 1, 2021

The Love Of A Friend

 Ashley

I met Ashley freshman year of high school



When we first met we didn't like each other ( stupid teenage minds)

Over time we gravitate more to each other



We had our little friend group but Ashley was my person 

She was the one I could truly be myself with



And after high school we were the only two standing from our friend group





I am so thankful for Ashley

Lord knows I have a hard time showing my emotions but Ashley always knew when something was wrong

Our friendship hasn't alway been rainbow and sunshine but we worked through the storms because we love each other

I can't believe it has been 16 years of friendship

I never let anyone in that much to even think that I would have a friendship that would last this long. 

We helped each other through some dark and painful time 

We've also been there to celebrate many milestones

Ashley is getting married in a couple of months



She has met this amazing man, I am so happy for the both of them 

Watching my best friend fall in love is truly a beautiful thing

I got watch her grow into this amazing woman and soon an amazing wife and mother 



I thank God for her every day 

I'm excited to see where God takes our friendships and the many more milestones we have to walk through


xoxo

Brittany Morgan




Friday, January 8, 2021

Edge Naturale: Follicle Enhancer

 Disclosure: I was sent this product by Edge Naturale to try and review. Below are my actual results and my honest opinion.




My hair journey has been an interesting one. My hair has always been falling out dry, brittle nothing seemed to work until I started using Edge Naturale. A huge spot in my head that is usually mostly bald has started to grow back all thanks to Edge Naturale Follicle Enhancer. Using Edge Naturale has been a big game changer for me. I love that it is a one product systems which is great when you alway on the go it definitely helps cut down my hair day time. I always found myself using 6 or 7 product on my patches with hope of them growing back. ( they never worked) . I feel comfortable knowing the ingredients in Edge Naturale are safe and I know actually what I’m using. Recently I decided to cut my hair off, so all my hair is the same length of my patches so it all can grow together. I'm excited to see this product work on my hair. I usually don't like scented products but im in love with the peppermint scent that stands out and the tingling sensation feels great on my scalp.Edge Naturale has a great system for their long time user if you decide to pick the subscription you'll get 20% off, that's an amazing deal. Choosing to accept Edge Naturale  was the best decision I've made. When I first got the email I went straight to their social media and seeing nothing but all shades of women that look like me I knew I had to take this opportunity. I'm grateful to Edge Naturale for giving me the opportunity to try their product and I look forward to working with them in the future.





Saturday, January 2, 2021

Year Of Me: Healing From A Bad Friendship

Last year I spent most of the year focused on others 

I spent way too much of my time worried about a friendship when I should have thought about myself.

I learned to be my own best friend. That situation brought up so many issues that I had that I needed to work on.

I know I'm a damn good friend in the future when I feel like someone no longer wants me around I need to be at peace and let them go 

I was so worried about her not including me in her life and feeling  abandon that I lost track of what was really important MYSELF

I don't blame her for everything that happened between us

I should have communicated on how I was feeling instead of lashing out on twitter. 

I should have set more boundaries with her

I was there even when I shouldn't have

One night I asked her to hang out but she told me she just wanted to chill at home which was cool because I have those days as well 

But later that evening I got a call asking to walk her dog because she was called into work.

Confused  on why she couldn't walk her own dog I found out she went out with her other friends

The petty in me wanted to say no and tell her to ask one of the people she was with to walk her dog but I wanted to see her pup because at that point I hadn't seen her in weeks.

That happened so many times I would want to do something but she would say she was too tired and wanted to stay home but then turn up in my complex with her other friend

That shit hurt

I also learned that I need to express to people what I  need in a friend.

I can't be the only one planning outings and when we hang out. 

That was definitely our issue

I was always asking to hang out, always planning things

And when I stopped our friendship did as well

I heard from her less and less 

I felt like if I wasn't offering a free meal I didn't see her 

I had never felt broken from a friendship

I felt like I gave so much of myself and it wasn't appreciated

I had to remind myself to put me first and not care what others do

Though since then my friend and I have worked on a better friendship I definitely look at things differently and learned so much from that process.

I learned that it's ok to say no.

I often overplay my position in people’s lives

I used to think it was because I had such a big giving heart, but now I’m understanding I lack boundaries

I’m always going above and beyond for those I love and when it’s not returned I find myself in my feelings

I don't have to alway be there and do things for people when it draining to me mentally and physically

I realize I give way too much of my time and energy 

I've always been the one to help even when I don't want to but I always show up with a smile on my face and do it anyways.

Even though I was still in the thick of my pain I still helped organize a birthday party and big zoom gathering for her 

And the crazy thing is the friend she was always with ( the one she basically dropped me for) originally was going  to plan something for her birthday but of course she didn't

As an outsider to that friendship I noticed the other girl really didn't care about her

It was definitely a one-sided friendship with them but my friend didn't see it 

My friend took her on a Law school visit with her and she thought getting high was the right thing to do basically turning it into a party for herself 

That situation hurt me so much because I was the one helping her study for her LSAT and giving her the practice test

We had always talked about me going with her and when the time came around I wasn't even a thought

Sitting her now in January we are friends

How? I don't know?

Covid?

Her "friend" dropping her like a bad habit?

Who knows!

It must have been God because I did not see this friendship lasting past March with the way these were going 

Am I still mad? No

Hurt? Yes

But the love I have for her is what kept and keeps me willing to work on bettering our friendship

Though we will never be friends like before but we have an opportunity for a better friendship


Lesson Learned

xoxo 

Brittany Morgan