Sunday, September 5, 2021

Opening Up

Getting use to the silence and focusing on me. My mental hasn’t been in the best of places and I usually just keep it to myself but this time I decided to reach out and hopefully have someone to finally listen. 

Big mistake! 

The first person I talked to face to face. It felt good to finally vent let out the emotions I kept bottled in tears started flowing out, but then I looked up. That person looked at me no emotions and just replied “ Ok”. I just sat there and finally opened. And the one person I thought would listen didn’t care. I just quickly dried my tears and walked away. But I didn’t give up I’m like some one has to listen right. I just wanted someone to tell how I was feeling was normal. So I waited a bit longer to build up the courage to try again. 

Epic Fail! 

I decided this time I’ll do it by text this time because face to face wasn’t an option. The conversation was going great and I finally mentioned feeling alone for a while and the reply was  “ mmm ok” 

What the Hell

I think they might have taken it as a personal attack but I was only talking about my mental health. I know they and I  haven’t talked as much this year as we did  in the past but I didn’t  think they would take my words personally, when I was only speaking about myself.

 For years I've been told that I was always closed off and I never let anyone in, and that true.

It has been so hard for me to open up when I couldn’t even trust the one person on this earth that should've had my back, it made it hard for me to trust anyone. 

My word has been use like weapons against to try to hurt me more

 I've decided to not let those two experinces keep me from trusting because I want be that closed off emotionless person anymore.

Today I woke up in a better place. Thanks to a great friend and a listening ear I feel great. I just needed someone to  listen, I just needed someone to care. I appreciate those in my life that are there for me.


Brittany Morgan  


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