Monday, July 28, 2014

Music Monday

Happy Monday beautiful people . 
Life has been crazy 
But I working on getting back on my feet . 
Surrounded my love and strength and most importantly my faith that God will see through this . 

1. Stay With Me - Sam Smith 

2. Marilyn Monroe - Nicki Minaj 

3. Keep It To Yourself - Kacey Musgraves

4.  Who You Love - John Mayer / Katy Perry 

5. Daughters - John Mayer 


Sunday, July 27, 2014

Losing Another Part Of Myself

On July 15th ,2014 I lost a piece of my heart .
My daddy , my rock , my world passed away .
It really feels like a bad dream 
like this can't be real 

I miss my daddy so much .
I find myself listening to his voicemails
Just feel like he is still here
Like really !!
This can't be true 
My DADDY gone 
I want my daddy back 
He was the last piece i had left 
The pain I feel is so unexplainable .
I don't even know 
I can't believe I'm writing this 
I really don't know what God's plan is . 
And not questioning it 
But my heart can't take anymore pain . 
Even my daddy and I had so rough patches 
He was my daddy 
My love 
My heart
The #1 man in my life 
I miss you so much daddy 
I love you 


Sunday Social

1. 3 favorite songs right now 
~ Somthing Bad - Miranda Lamber / Carrie Underwood 
~ Boss - Fifth Harmony 
~ My Eyes - Blake Shelton

2.3 Favorite movies that remind you of summer
~ Now and Then


~ Hunger Games 

3. 3 Favorite articles of clothing you own 
~ My american flag scarf
~ My pink maxi dress
~ my cloth oxford shoes 

4. 3 items on your wishlist
~ A new cannon powershot 
~ black and white floral vans 
~ Sigma Beauty Mr Bunny brushes 

5. 3 books you would recommend to someone
 ~ 50 Shades of Grey
~ The Fault Of Our Stars 
~ The Help 


Check out Julep Maven's Summer Collection 

4 Am Knows All My Secrets

Laying here with so much on my mind 
Making decisions on the next step of my life . 
The past week has been totally eye opening 
I was totally taken advantage of during one of the weakest moments of my life . 
( I know I tell all but that one ... Maybe next time ) 
When your going through things you really know who is there for you . 
T has been my rock during it all . 
Listening to me complain , he held me when I cried and just being here when I needed to . He has been amazing . 
Also my bestie A she has been here from day one . It's crazy how ride or die we are for each other and we haven't even know each for a year . She is truely my best friend , my sister . She came and just say with me so I could talk out my feelings . She even reached out to T for me to tell him what was happening . I love that girl she is one amazing person . Z has also been so amazing with checking on me and bringing my god daughter over to cheer me up . I have an amazing circle . It's small but that's all I need . There are many that have reached out and I'm thankful for all their kind and loving words 
I started this post to "bash" the ones who have done me wrong but then I had an epiphany . Why waste my energy and focus on that when I have so much positivity in my life . I'm blessed . Yes I'm hurting and working through my sadness but I'll be ok . I know I will . I was raised by two amazingly strong people . Though I no longer have them on this earth I have them in my heart forever . I'm growing and I'm changing . 
All for the better 
If you don't like it , I can't help you 

Saturday, July 26, 2014

I'm Happy !!!!!

I'm really like this new guy . I'm so comfortable with him . 
I'm able to be me and not play a role . 
Or have to live up to anyone else standards , like I have in the past . 
I don't know what the future has in store for us but I'm excited to see where it leads
I'm hooked 
I'm hooked on his kisses 
The way he holds me in arms 
I feel so safe !
I really wish my parents would have had a chance to meet him . 
They would have loved him .
But I know they are looking down smiling . 

Seeing his name pop up on my phone gives me butterflies .
Being around him gives me a sense of peace . 
I hate when he leaves cause I just want him around . 
 I'm falling for him more and more everyday . 

 He has truly been my rock during this difficult time in my life .
When I cried he just held my while I let out my pain
He listened to my troubles . 

The lyrics to  this song totally explains how I'm feeling right now !!

Til Next Time 

Tuesday, July 15, 2014


What has dating come to today ?
Texting and Fucking . That it.
How do you do catch feelings through  a text message. 
You don't see that person but that your man . 
Don't get me wrong I don't mind a text message .
I've even got caught up in a "Textationship"
( Text message relationship ) 
But you can easily misinterpret something
I know I have ! 
And as women lets be honest we do that a lot . 
And then we sit there looking stupid .
Not being able to see the emotion or the reaction to when that message that was written can really mess up a girl.
Thinking he may be feeling you when he was really just being nice .
Or he said something to be funny but you get defensive and now your fighting . 
When it all could have been solved if you had that conversation face to face. 
And no i don't mean Facetime
So it's time for a change
I'm taking myself out of the equation

 Til Next Time

Monday, July 14, 2014

To Be or Not To Be .... That Is The Question

Seeing this tweet really got me thinking . 
I use to be that girl . Chasing after a boy who didn't really won't her or only called when he was  bored or wanted some 
Yes I said girl , because I am now a woman and thank God I learned from my mistakes 

And it doesn't have to be just romantic relationships it can be for family and friendships. 
I feel if you really  want me around and in your life you would put me there. 
I've gotten to the point in my life where I'm tired of reaching out . 
I feel like I'm always reaching out but there is no one there to grab my hand .
Wanting something that the other person doesn't 
 That never works 
And I hate when people say they're '' BUSY" 
We make time for things and people that are important to us . 
If there is no effort put forward . I don't want to waste my time. 
If I'm the one who is ALWAYS starting the convos via text or phone calls 
And you can't take 2 secs out of your day just to check on me ( that's a problem )

I hate when people say " I was gonna .... " thats just bs to me . 
If you really wanted to connect with me you would have 

Its 2014 there are too many ways to talk to people ( text , call , Facebook , FaceTime , kik , twitter , instagram )  There are too many forms of communication .

Sorry if it seems like I'm bitching all the time . But sometimes I want to be " chased " .
I want to see that you care , that you can put some form of effort in . 
In any relationship ( friendship , relationship , family ) it should be a 50/50 road and when I feel like I'm giving more than I'm receiving ( my time and my heart ) I'm going to slowly pull away and eventually just be done with you . 

But enough of my ranting . 
Til Next Time