Saturday, December 28, 2019

Decade Recap

This decade was rough.

From my mother being diagnosed with breast cancer(2010) to her passing a few years later ( April 2013). To having to move into my aunt's house right after my mother’s passing. Then getting kicked out 7 months while still getting back on track. Moving in with my pastor , which was an amazing blessing. Then finally seeing a small light at the end of my tunnel I got my apartment. I thought things was finally working out for me. Then July 2014 my father passed away. I used my last bit of money to pay my uncle to take me to Georgia for his funeral (and 4 hours after the funeral he said we had to go back to Illinois, I wasn’t even in Georgia for 24 hours). That’s a whole other story, maybe one day I’ll tell it. After getting back from Georgia I felt things was getting worst everyday. The job I had lined up was no longer available to me. How could I pay rent? Pay utilities? Or eat? My savings was getting lower and lower, I had to start selling things to pay the rent. My Aunt and  two cousins moved into my one bedroom apartment that I shared with my brother. And my anxiety and depression was at its highest point. I was applying to jobs like crazy but still no luck. All I asked my aunt to do was provide food for the home and you would’ve thought I asked her to pay all bills. So she bought groceries once and then after only bought her and children take out. I was livid, I was selling all my things to pay every bill and she couldn’t even pay for food. I would’ve been happy with ramen but I guess that was too much. After venting to my friend for weeks about what I was going through shit hit the fan. She told my aunt about how I was feeling and my aunt felt attacked. Words was exchanged and they ended up moving out that night. She moved in with her sister ( my aunt) who had 5 bedroom house 5 minutes away. 

I was now all alone because by this time my brother was back at his university. I was at the darkest place of my life, I had no family it was just me in this apartment I could no longer afford. If it wasn’t for my best friend having her aunt to hire me for random jobs she needed done I would have starved. I made $60 last for a month of groceries. I had a car but I couldn’t afford the gas to put in it. My amazing friend Jamie would pick me up every Sunday for church and would take me to the dollar tree, Aldi and Wal-Mart to get my groceries for the week. God blessed me with some amazing Angels without them I honestly think I would be dead now. Thinking back on the apartment and what I was mentally going through I am surprised  didn’t commit suicide. God got me through some really dark days. Some days I would just lay there become I felt defeated, I would look out the window watching the day go back , sunrise to sunset. Of course I got evicted, thankfully my church paid for a few months of a storage unit and a train ride to move to the town my brother lived in. After getting here I got a job and have worked there ever since. As much as my job gets on my nerves it has been a major blessing.

 I lost ones the loved the most ( my mama, daddy, granny and two friends in 2019). I was at my lowest moments of my life. Now I’ve gained new friendship, traveled, new experiences and love. I’ve grown so much from the hard times ( and I didn’t even tell it all). I’ve grown so much closer to God. I am nothing without him. I know I have a bigger purpose in life because I am still here. I’m excited to see what God has I store for me this new decade.


Sunday, December 15, 2019

2019: A Year Of Healing

2019 has been a major healing year.
I felt myself potentially going down the rabbit hole again. I was toxic to myself and allowing toxic people  to affect my life. At end of 2018 I cut ties with the only man I’ve ever loved. On the outside I looked like this strong independent woman but on the inside I was broken. I gained so much weight and was secretly drinking a lot. I felt alone even when surrounded by others.
 I keep a lot to myself because I truly hate venting to friends. Too many times I’ve vented and felt regret instantly. Some may think I’m closed off but I’ve been burned too many times after telling someone my business. I’ve had “family” throw things in my face after telling them how I felt about something. 
I noticed I didn’t know how to let out my feelings.For the longest I would hold things in until I couldn’t anymore and ended up lashing out at people. 
My life saver came to me in August, Nola. Nola is a beagle / lab mix I adopted from a local rescue. I instantly feel in love with her. Nola first day home she went straight to her bed and laid down, I couldn’t help it I cried. I finally was feeling pure joy and happiness for the first time in a while but that moment went away once I got laughed at by the ones around me for showing my emotions. 
In August I also started therapy, something I haven’t done since my freshman year of college (2008). Therapy has been a major life saver for me. I’m no where near fully healed but I’m on the right path. I’m processing things I would normally put into a little box. I’ve also started taking anti-depressant, something I always told myself I would never do. I thought I could pray the depression and anxiety away when God was actually leading me to something that can help. I’m in a better place than I was January 1st and I thank God for that daily. 2020 I see more healing, growth, love and peace.

Brittany Morgan 

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Birthday Wishlist: 2019

Last year I waited too late to post my wish list for my birthday and Christmas, this year I decided to be more proactive and post my list a month early
Year 30 will be full of  Self-care, self- love and growing closer to God.
I have many things I want to carry out in year 30


1. A Journal Bible with the matching tabs
My current bible was gifted to me by my grandmother with lessons geared towards a young girl, its time for a slight upgrade.

2. Gift-Cards 
People think gift card are a lazy gift but i personally love them. Sometimes there are things I want but I talk myself out of it due to cost or need. 
( Torrid, Ulta, Lane Bryant, Sephora, Etsy,Target, Hobby Lobby,Michael's)

This is one of my favorite things that sephora does. You get a box of fragrance samples to see which one you like the best. After you pick one there is a certificate in the box to return and you pick up the full size bottle 

4. A Self-Care Box
A care package with face mask, candles, wine, candy, movies and etc would be nice

I need to practice more looks and the makeup charts would help

I kept my list short and simple
I'm not expecting my friends to get me everything but I love to give options

Brittany Morgan 

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Planning My Birthday Weekend!

This year for my I wanted to relax, eat some good food,a spend time with friends
But I didn't want to do any of this at home.
My birthday twin ( my friend Angelique)and I decided to rent out two cabins and do just that.
Now I'm trying to plan a very glamorous but low key week
My focus now is the favor bags
I want to give each guest a little gift as a thank you for going out of their way and celebrating our birthdays with us
The theme for this weekend is Self Care
I want to use a lot rose gold, pink golds and burgundy
I've found so much inspiration on pinterest

It definitely won't be this big but I want to recreate this on a smaller scale but same impact 

I also have some fun snack ideas 
I want to make sure the guest have something to munch on 
I would love to turn all the treats rose gold but I can't so pink will have to do 

My birthday twin and I have so many ideas for this weekend
Soon we will be narrowing down our final decisions 
 Decor pieces have been coming in, I'm excited to see how this all will come together 

Brittany Morgan 

Sunday, September 1, 2019

September Goals

Happy September!
The summer is almost at the end
The fall air is slowly blowing in 

1. Plan My Birthday 
With my 30th birthday next month I wanted to do something relaxing and fun 
My birthday twin/ best friend ( Angelique) and I  are hosting a birthday self care weekend in a cabin
My goal for that weekend is to relax, eat good food, girl talk and fall activities. 

2. Grow My Instagram 
I want to make a bigger presence on my social media
I always come up with new and fun ideas but never post them out of fear
I want to take this month to showcase some of my talents and ideas

3. Have At least 2 Self-Care Days
I need more ME time

4. Plan And Shoot Birthday Photos
I love seeing the adult birthday photos and I would love to have some for my birthday
I can't wait to share them with you

What are some goals you have this month?

Brittany Morgan  

Saturday, August 3, 2019

My Development Year

I'm in my development year.
This may sound crazy to most but I'm taking to focus solely on me, on my craft
I've been on dating apps for the past couple months and it has been an epic fail
I've attracted the same time of men.
Either the let's get in a relationship after hello men or lets fuck without the hello
After many encounters like this I think its my ora, my vibe that is attracting these type of men to me
I'm deleting all my apps ,they are no longer needed.
I really need to work on myself
I need to work on the woman I deserve to be
I hold myself back a lot out of fear of the unknown.
I've held myself back from my personal growth
I've come up with so many ideas
Sitting here at almost 30 I need focus on myself 
At times I focus all my energy on others and helping them and I leave myself with nothing 
 I need to take a leap and major changes in my life
My focus now is my health, happiness and peace

Thursday, August 1, 2019


I am NOT  a BBW 
 I would rather you call me fat before you call me a BBW
For those that don't know what a BBW is , it stands for Big Beautiful Women 
Some of you are you are probably wondering " Why wouldn't you want to be called that ??"
BBW is mostly used in the sex industry and most use it as a term for a sexual fetish
I not here for your fetish pleasures .
Some woman take that a term of endearment
I take it as an insult
I am a person
Yes I'm bigger
But I am not here for you to objectify and dehumanize
I don't want your negative attention
I don't want you to try to get with me because of the size of my body
I'm not your sex object
I totally understand some people have a " preferences "
But please keep that away from me .
I want you to fall in love with my mind
and not just talk to me because you want to bury your face in my ass


Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Not Really Friends

I definitely had an a few na├»ve months this year. I met this guy on a dating site at the beginning of the year. I felt  connected to him instantly after our amazing conversations.After a weeks of talking I was finally comfortable enough to meet, but it never happened. Between crazy snowstorms and our crazy work schedules it never happened. It seemed like every time we tried to meet the skies had other plans for us and multiple inches of snow would fall. Living almost two hours away from someone you’re interested in is hard, but we kept the conversations going daily. Finally the snow seemed to pass and the weather was finally getting warmer, I figured finally I get to meet him. So much for wishful thinking it never happened, I kept getting excuses and excuses on why we couldn’t meet up. The one that put the nail in the coffin was when I moved my work schedule around so i could have the weekend off only for him to say “ there is 30% chance of rain so I don’t want to make that drive ” ( it never rained).  I’ve taken bullshit excused like that before but at that point I was over situation. So I told home should only be friends. For a couple of weeks communication was non-existent. Over time our conversations started up again. I knew I couldn’t pursue anything romantically with him but I was open to a friendship. Lack of consistency, not really wanting to see me was a major turn off, but it was good to have a friend to talk to. I had a friend, so I thought. We didn’t talk as often which was cool with me but when we did it was good have someone to vent to and to also be a listening ear. I knew he would never be anything but a “ pen pal” ( in our case a texting buddy). 
Last week I was in Las Vegas and things got really weird between us. 
I posted a few pictures of my outfits while in Las Vegas and then the messages started pouring in.
So many sexual suggestive messages, I tried to brush it off and laugh about it.
After constantly getting them I was feeling annoyed and uncomfortable.
I finally got up the nerve to call him our on it 
Of course it turned back on me and he said I was "hurting his feelings "
He told me he was trying to work his way out of "friend zone"
If that was the case he was definitely doing it the wrong.
The way to get to my heart is not sex 
I have learned a lesson from this 

Brittany Morgan 

Friday, June 7, 2019

Friday Night At Home Alone

Just me in my room watching " What A Girl Wants"  on Netflix 
with a glass of wine on the night stand.
This has been on long week.
Trying to brainstorm some new ideas for my makeup page
Just when I was ready to give up on my dream God snapped me back on track
I was recently contacted by an amazing makeup brand to a review on a few of their products
Almost a week after getting the email, I'm still crying just thinking about it.
I'm so blessed and happy for this opportunity 
This has given me the push I've needed to create again
I've doubted myself on my abilities and the things I love
I owe this all to God
I can't wait to share this brand with you guys 
I don't know what exactly I'm getting from them 
but whatever it is I'm grateful for it.
Thank you sticking with me through the highs and lows
I have this new burst of energy 
I'm going all in with this blog.

Brittany Morgan 

Monday, May 27, 2019

1200 Calorie Lifestyle Change

Recently I've stared a  1200 calorie diet
 I haven’t been losing the weight I want to do I had to make another change. 
With my doctor’s approval, I’m going down to a 1200 calorie diet. 
I’m determined to stay on track even with all the temptation around me
 I’ve been  watching “ My 600 Lbs Life” and I can’t allow myself to continue to gain the weight I have.
 The thought of me not being able to take care of myself because of my weight scares me
 I pray God guides me through this and helps me stay on track
This is mental, I have to put myself first. Put my health first
 I need to do this for my future. Please pray for me as I go on this new journey
 I know God will be with me and will give me the strength needed
 In the past I wanted my brother to join with me and when he doesn’t I lose track. No, I’m not blaming him but I've allowed my surrounding discourage me from what I know I need to do
 I can’t wait to see my results
I will most definitely keep you posted.

Brittany Morgan

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Weight Loss Rewards

I wanted to create a reward system for my weight loss goals 
Every 5lbs I lose I want to reward myself
I'm currently at my peak weak weight and I refuse to go higher
I leave for Vegas July 21 my goal is to be down by 20 to 40 lbs ( not a crazy goal I've done it before)

5lbs- Makeup Brush
10lbs - Bedroom Decor
15lbs - Running Shoes
20 lbs- New Hair Color 
25 lbs- Book
30lbs - Beauty Product 
35lbs - Facial 
40lbs- 2 Outfits
How do you reward yourself?

Brittany Morgan 

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Mistakes I've Made Dating: Part One

I'm definitely not a pro at dating
But is anyone?
I know I've made my fair share of mistakes when it comes to dating
My mistakes are lessons I've learned on my journey to meeting my Prince Charming
After all the lies and pain I've been through I know there is someone special out there for me
I've just kissed a few bad frogs on my journey to him
Will I meet him tomorrow,  one year from now or in five years
Who Knows?!
Here are a few mistakes I've made so far

 Ignoring The Red Flags and Excuse
I'm the queen of ignoring the red flags. Knowing something sounds like bullshit but hoping it was the truth. Letting stuff roll off my shoulders when I should have ended it when I heard it or saw something crazy. I always try to give someone the benefit of the doubt.  Consistent flaking on dates, periods of time of that person disappearing is some of the key things I would overlook. Making up excuses in my head to cover their actions.

 Not Multi-Dating
I have a horrible habit of talking to one guy and ignoring all the other guys because of one guy and not weighing my options
Now I'm not saying I'm sleeping with everybody ( but if I did my body, my choice)
I've never just gone on dates to get to know multiple people at once
Understanding compatibility, finding out what I like and don't like 
With Multi-Dating communication is key and letting the other men know they aren't the only one
I've never multi-dated out of the fear of what others thought
Men have done this for years but women get slut-shamed for going on multiple dates 
Like Taylor Swift, she has dated her fair share of men, as she should 
It doesn't mean she slept with them all (and if she did, her body, her choice)
I really need to stop living in fear of people's thought and do what makes me happy

Dating A Non-Believer
I'm not here to judge anyone for their religion or lack thereof
I just know that I want a man who believes in God's Love
I've tried dating the atheist or the agnostic but I felt judged 
I shouldn't feel belittled for my faith
Not once didn't I try to force God on them
But the faces I'd get or the comments I would get for just praying or thanking God in a moment 
is not something I want. I want someone who I can study the Bible with
I want God  in the center of our relationship
What are some mistakes you've made when dating?

Brittany Morgan 

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Losing Weight Again!

I've been working out again for about a month now
More recently I've been going on walks with my friend
My body has been feeling so much better
Even though I'm sore after a workout 
It is totally worth it
I can already see a change in my body 
And there is definitely a change on the scale
My eating habits have changed a whole lot
Portion control is so important and I finally realized that
I don't feel hungry all the time nor do I like starving myself
I think my body was so ready for the lifestyle change
I see myself reaching my 40lbs down by July 10th more of a reality
After our recent walk I went to my local protein health place ( I'm sure there is a better name for it)

It was my first time getting their full service deal
-Aloe Shot
-Shake ( Fruity Pebbles was the flavor I picked) 

I'm excited to see where this new lifestyle change will take me
I will keep you posted 
Til next time 
Brittany Morgan 

Thursday, March 7, 2019

My Current Hulu Binge Worthy List

I love a good binge watching session 
Hulu has a lot of shows that I've been hooked on
Some of the shows have ended , some are still on now
1. The Resident 

2. Hangin' With Mr. Cooper

3. Law And Order SVU

4. The Mindy Project

5. Private Practice

6. Desperate Housewives

7. Nashville

8. Superstore

Which shows are you watching?

Britany Morgan

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

March Goals

This is only my second post of the year
My head space hasn't bee in the best place
It feels good to want to write again 

1. No Eating Out
I need to save more money and I get out way too much.
It's not like I don't have food at home 
I just get lazy and don't want to cook sometimes

2. Read 2 Books
My anxiety has been on high alert for the a fews weeks
My friends suggested a book to calm myself and escape for a bit

3. Be More Active
I have already reached my first weight loss goal of the year
Ive set another goal I'm happy with my weight loss journey 

4. Be More Active On My Instagram Accounts 
I have 3 instagram accounts that I barely use
I have some fun idea for 2 out of the 3 of my instagrams
I need to stop being scared and share the content I have

Brittany Morgan

Wednesday, January 2, 2019


Happy New Year!
I took the first day of the year to relax and work on PIB
2019 is all about PIB 
I've invested more time and money into my blog already this year
Doing what  need to do to give your guys the best content I can this year
2019 is a year for me
Not a new me but to embrace the Brittany that has always been here
My weird, sassy, bubbly me
This year I need to focus on myself
Sometimes I give so much to others and at the end of the day I have nothing left for me
I'm not saying I'm turning into this cold-hearted person
At some point of your life you have to put yourself first
In 2019 I  need to make some major changes with my health
I love my body but I know I need to be healthier 
I need to lose weight 
This is a journey I need to take alone 
I'm excited to see where my health will be by the end of the year
Putting my health first is something I need to do for my future 
In 2019 I want to quit my job 
I want PIB as my  full-time job
It will take a lot of hard work and consistency to  achieve this but I find it reachable 
In 2019 I want to travel more 
I need to visit my grandparents they are number one on my list 
I want to go back to Vegas, I definitely need a re-do after the bullshit that happened on that trip
I'm finally getting my passport this year so I will getting a stamp by the end of the year
In 2019 I will no longer hold onto friendships/ relationships that bring nothing to my life and if i bring nothing to their life I have no purpose being there
I always felt like I couldn't be the one to cut ties with people 
So I would hold onto friendship or relationship that hurt me 
In 2019 I want a better friend  
I want to be a listener more than a talker
I want to be able to notice when to and not to bring my problems to friends
 I have to remember that they go through things also and sometime can't handle my problems on top of their
I've learned that about myself also 
Sometimes I  take on others problems when I need to get my head together first , so I can only imagine if I feel that way one of my friends have felt that way before
In 2019 I want to date again 
I will be 30 this year and I've only had one real relationship 
And I know there is no time table for falling in love 
But my heart is truly open to dating again
I'm finally in a good place and ready to let someone in again
I know what I want and I refuse to settle 
 ( I have a post in the works explain this)
In 2019 I want to grow closer to God
I want read the bible more 
And not just pray to him only when I need something 

I'm excited to see what 2019 has in store for me 
What are some of your resolutions?

Brittany Morgan