Monday, July 31, 2023

Boundaries: Protecting Your Time, Energy, and Well-being

It took me until my 30s to truly understand having boundaries.

I would allow myself to be uncomfortable if it made others happy. I felt obligation towards friends and family, leading to feelings of guilt when setting boundaries. Often feeling my boundaries was selfish and uncaring. At times my boundaries lead to conflict that me apprehensive to set them in the future.

I would always make myself available even when I wasn't making sure I visited people when I was in town until I realize I was exhausted. Exhausted by always showing up for others when the energy wasn't reciprocated. (More on that in another post)

I would feel drained for answering the phone late night even though I had a rough day and barely made it through without a break down.

For so long I've showed up for everyone in my life, but I had to learn how to show up for myself.

Now that I've set some boundaries for myself some people have reacted negatively to them, and I have to make sure their emotion on my boundaries is none of my business. I have to focus on myself and mental health. I remind myself that my boundaries aren't to hurt others but to protect myself.

I know setting boundaries is scary but there are many reasons you should set them. 

1. Protecting oneself: Establishing clear boundaries helps to protect oneself from being taken advantage of or mistreated by others. 

2. Maintaining healthy relationships: Boundaries help to clarify what one accepts and doesn't accept in a relationship, making it easier to maintain healthy relationships with others. 

3. Building self-esteem: Having and enforcing boundaries can lead to an increase in self-esteem, as it demonstrates that one's needs and values are important and deserve to be respected. 

4. Reducing stress and anxiety: Clear boundaries can ultimately lead to less stress and anxiety, as they provide structure and order to one's relationships and interactions with others. Overall, boundaries are key to maintaining one's physical and emotional well-being, as well as establishing healthy relationships with others.


Brittany Morgan

Monday, June 26, 2023

Healing the Inner Child: Embracing Self-Love

Our inner child carries the experiences, emotions, and vulnerabilities from our past, shaping our perceptions and influencing our present lives.

Throughout my formative years, I endured the pain of being bullied by peers that looked like me. Their hurtful words and actions targeted me because of my appearance, my interests, and my individuality. I was always either too big or too dark (to them). These experiences left me scarred emotionally, doubting my self-worth and questioning whether love from a black man was even possible. As a fat, dark-skinned black woman, I grew up facing societal pressures that dictated what beauty should look like. These expectations often left me feeling inadequate and hindered the development of my inner child.

In a society deeply affected by colorism, dark-skinned black women often face unique challenges and biases that can impact their self-esteem and emotional well-being. Growing up, I carried the weight of societal expectations and negative perceptions about my dark skin and weight, causing wounds to my inner child. The constant struggle for acceptance and affirmation took a toll on my confidence and hindered my ability to embrace love fully.

Over time, I realized that the actions of those who hurt me were not a reflection of my own value as a person. I embarked on a healing journey that involved therapy and self-reflection. It was through this process that I learned to embrace my true self, disregarding the negative opinions that had been imposed on me.

As I opened my heart to healing, I met a remarkable black man who shattered my preconceived notions about black men. His kindness, understanding, and unwavering support transformed my perspective. He saw beyond the scars I carried, appreciating me for who I truly was. In his love, I discovered the power to reclaim my self-worth and believe in the possibility of being loved unconditionally.

When I met my husband, I was met with a love that transcended expectations. He saw beyond the scars of my past and embraced all aspects of who I am, including my wounded inner child. His unwavering acceptance and patience provided a safe space for my inner child to emerge, be acknowledged, and begin the journey of healing.

The love I received from this black man became a catalyst for my empowerment and personal growth. It taught me the importance of forgiveness, both towards those who had hurt me in the past and towards myself. I began to embrace my own worthiness of love, regardless of the color of my skin or the scars I carried.

Finding a partner who loves, accepts, and nurtures my inner child is a transformative experience, particularly as a fat, dark-skinned black woman. My husband's love has played an integral role in my journey of self-acceptance, liberation, and empowerment. Through his unwavering support, he has helped me challenge societal beauty standards, celebrate my authentic self, and embrace love and liberation.


Brittany Morgan

Friday, March 31, 2023

Imposter Syndrome While Wedding Planning

 Wedding planning is supposed to be a time of celebration and excitement, but for many brides and grooms, it can also be a time of anxiety and self-doubt. If you're struggling with feelings of imposter syndrome during your engagement, you're not alone.

Imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling that you're not good enough, despite evidence to the contrary. It can make you feel like a fraud, like you're pretending to be something you're not. And when it comes to wedding planning, imposter syndrome can rear its ugly head in a number of ways.

For example, you might feel like you don't deserve to have a big, beautiful wedding, especially if you come from humble beginnings or if your budget is tight. Or you might feel like you're not creative enough to plan a unique and memorable event, or that you're not stylish enough to choose the right dress, decor, or color scheme.

Whatever the cause, imposter syndrome can take a toll on your mental health and your enjoyment of your engagement. But the good news is that there are strategies you can use to manage imposter syndrome and feel more confident and empowered as you plan your wedding.

Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Make a list of all the things you're good at and all the things you've achieved in your life so far, and remind yourself that you're capable and competent. Another strategy is to surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you and your ability to plan an amazing wedding. Lean on your friends, family, and wedding vendors for encouragement and guidance.

It's also important to remember that your wedding doesn't have to be perfect. There's no such thing as a perfect wedding, and the most memorable weddings are often the ones that are unique, personal, and reflective of the couple's personalities and values. So don't compare your wedding to anyone else's, and don't put pressure on yourself to live up to anyone else's expectations.

If you're struggling with imposter syndrome as you plan your wedding, know that you're not alone. It's normal to feel anxious and self-doubting during this time, but there are strategies you can use to manage these feelings and feel more confident and empowered. Remember to focus on your strengths and accomplishments, surround yourself with supportive people, and embrace the imperfections and uniqueness of your wedding. With these tools in your toolbox, you can overcome imposter syndrome and enjoy your engagement to the fullest.

Monday, March 20, 2023

How To Handle One-Sided Friendships

 One-sided friendships can be challenging and unfulfilling for the person who feels like they are doing all the work to maintain the relationship.  It can be frustrating and hurtful when friends only contact you when they need something from you. While it's important to be there for your friends when they need you, it's also important to have balanced and mutually supportive relationships.

If you're feeling used by your friends, it may be helpful to have an honest conversation with them about how you feel. Let them know that you value your friendship, but that you feel like you're only being contacted when they need something. It's possible that they're not aware of how their behavior is affecting you.

It's also important to set boundaries and communicate your own needs. Let your friends know what you need from them in order to feel valued and supported in the friendship. If your friends are unwilling or unable to respect your boundaries and needs, it may be time to reassess the relationship and whether it's worth maintaining.

   It can be frustrating and disheartening when one person is putting in all the effort while the other seems disinterested or takes the friendship for granted. However, it's important to remember that people have different personalities, priorities, and communication styles, and some individuals may not be as expressive or proactive in maintaining friendships as others. If you feel like you're in a one-sided friendship, it's important to communicate your feelings and needs to your friend. They may not even realize that they are not putting in as much effort as you are. If they are receptive and willing to work on the friendship, it's worth trying to improve the dynamic. However, if they are not responsive or continue to take the friendship for granted, it may be time to reevaluate whether this friendship is worth investing in. 

Remember that you deserve to be in healthy, fulfilling friendships where your needs are respected and your friendship is valued for more than just what you can do for others.


Brittany Morgan

Saturday, March 18, 2023

How To Navigate Questions After Getting Engaged


Getting engaged is an exciting time, but it can also come with a lot of questions and attention from family and friends. Here are some tips for handling the many questions: 

1. Talk with your partner: First and foremost, communicate with your partner about how you want to handle questions and attention from others. Determine what you want to share with friends and family and what you would like to keep private. 

2. Have a plan: Think about potential questions you may receive and how you want to answer them. Having a plan in place can help you feel more prepared and confident when answering questions. 

3. Be selective with who you share with: You are not obligated to tell everyone about your engagement. It's okay to be selective with who you share the news with and when. 

4. Set boundaries: You may receive unwanted or intrusive questions or comments from others. It's important to set boundaries and let them know if their questions or comments are making you uncomfortable.

 5. Enjoy the moment: Don't let the many questions and attention take away from the joy of being engaged. Take time to celebrate with your partner and enjoy this special time in your relationship


Brittany Morgan