Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Where Have I Been?

I'm a giver 
I give my time, my space, my love, my all
Lately I haven't been appreciated by some of the people in my life
I go out my way for others and  give them everything at all moments 
I realized I need to focus on myself, growth and peace 
This year has taught me so much and its only July 1st

The Friendship 

I started the year dealing with friendship issues.
To keep that story short I was dropped like a hot piece of trash.
Like literally barely any communication, didn't see the person.
I saw her car more than I saw her car than I saw her because her new best friend lived across from me in my apartment complex. 
I was already going through hell and for that to happen I spiraled. I took to social media to air out how I was feeling.
We talked it out I've cried a couple of times not because I was sad but I was frustrated.
I was pissed.
I was always there for her and to dropped as if I killed her puppy.
I was falling back to old cold-hearted ways 
If I can cut my family out of my life I can do the same to anyone. 
Jump to today we've been working on friendship for a few months
It's sad because what she kinda did to me is happening with that other friendship but I keep my mouth shut when it comes to that. (not my story to tell)
She moves to the south soon and asked me to help and the giver in my want to be there and help her get her new place set up but there is still too much hurt for me to fall back into that role.
Doesn't mean I don't love her or that I'm mad at her I just can't. 
It sucks she's moving in few weeks but I think if we both continue the communication we'll be good. 

The Ex
My ex reached out to me in February
I didn't see the message til mid March 
I stupidly let him back in and nothing really changed.
Communication sucked
I wasn't a priority and as quickly as he came back 
I quickly let him go

My Mental Health 

I have my good days and my bad days. 
I need to do better with taking my anti-depressant but I'm in a better place than I was in February.
February I was in one of the darkest places in a long time. 
I felt so alone.
I felt abandon. 
I felt broken.
Thanks to God and my therapist I'm doing so much better.

Makeup And Dress Down

A few months ago I teased at a new blog and instagram  and I wasn't mentally ready for them. 
But by the end of July you will see some content on both

It feels so good to be back.
Sorry if this post is all over the place.
I'm back and I'm better 
And in the words of Megan Thee Stallion 
"Im that bitch"
"Been that bitch"
"Still that bitch"
"And will forver be that bitch

Brittany Morgan 

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