This past month has an emotional roller coaster . With my mom in the hospital and other events that recently happened my emotions have been all over the place . It feels like nobody understands how I'm feeling . Lately I've been feeling more attacked then cared for. I guess other people's way of caring is different than mine . I don't try to hurt others feeling but honestly no matter what I do or say will be taking the wrong way . When I just want to sit in a corner and cry . But I keep a strong face for my mother and not try to show any emotions .
I hold in all my emotions but I feel like I'm going to burst . I'm being told " Don't stress out you mom" but yet every time something happens someone runs back to mother and tell how I didn't say " thank you " enough , or how me keeping to myself is having attitude . My mother is in a nursing home , can't walk , with cancer on some many parts of her body I lost count . But you want that upbeat happy Brittany . " no " your not going to get her . My heart is broken . My mother is not well and I want is her home healthy and walking .
My family has been amazing when it comes to getting my house together and painting the bedroom an amazing color for my mother . Things are really coming along . But the feedback I'm getting from my mom is that I don't appreciate it . But I'm constantly thanking them . I don't know what more I can do ! I love my family I just they understood where I was coming from.
I know they love my mother but its just a different type of love I have for her . I am her she is me I came from her and no one will ever have our bond .
This will probably be a ongoing series . Sorry if it depressing but I just gotta get this off my mind and heart .
And sorry for no Sunday Social today I wasn't in the mood .
Xoxo
Brittany
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