Monday, January 28, 2013

My mother has breast cancer and for those out there who know someone with this horrible disease 
you see all the horrible things that happen to them .
Seeing my mother go through chemotherapy because she is tired of throwing up
Watching her cry from the from hearing that her cancer has returned for the third time . 

I stay strong for her . Not shedding a tear . Being the rock for her . Allowing her to take her anger out on me 
because i know she doesn't mean what she says I know she is just hurting .

Some day I really don't know what to do . She just sits on the couch and looks out the window. I pray for her all day long ! I just want to see her smile again . I love mother with all my heart . 

Everybody are putting in their comments about what she should be doing ( like what doctor she should go to and what kind of diet she should be on .) 
They have comments on what I should be doing for her . 
But they are not here daily and not here to see the pain she goes through.
I've noticed that when someone gets sick everybody comes around but when you are sick for too long they start drifting away .
My mother has had cancer for 3 years . 
My family was here when she was first diagnosis but everybody has gone back to their own lives and it seems like they don't really get care anymore . Its like after the third time they are over it . 
There are only a few that still call and check on my mother and check on me . 
But besides that most are just moving on. Or is it just me .Some day I feel like the world should stop . 

Some friends don't understand what I'm going through and I know they are because when I try to talk to them about it .The change to subject to talk about their boyfriend problems .
 Lately I feel like I have no one to talk to . 
I feel like I'm going to explode
Trying to hold it together for everybody and sometimes I just want to cry . 
I pray that God can give me the strength to be the rock my mother needs. 
I can't imagine what she is going through . I pray this time chemotherapy and radiation work and we can say goodbye to this horrible disease . 

I will keep you posted on her journey 
 Please keep my mother in your prayer 


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