Growing up my mother always told me to love my body .
She always told me never let anyone make me feel bad for who I am.
Honestly , I still had issues with my body and starving myself to fit in.
Growing up I was teased about my weight and i did let it affect me .
Secretly taking diet pills and skipping meals. ( Doing all the unhealthy things )
I always wanted to look like models i saw on television or the girls in the music videos.
I thought maybe if I lost the weight I would get my dream guy .
I thought for once I wouldn't be the fat friend
Its not easy to get over your insecurities and self hate.
I hated the fact that I couldn't look like everyone else.
I hated that the guys didn't like me because I'm fat
I HATED MYSELF
It took so long for me to find love within
To realize what an amazing woman I am
That I'm WORTHY
I am finally happy with who I am. It doesn't matter what people think about me .
As long as i love myself it doesn't matter what SOCIETY thinks.
I know I am unhealthy and I'm working on getting healthier.
Im not losing weight to fit in Im losing weight to be healthy .
I have family members that give me looks and makes comments about my weight.
I actually heard my aunt say " Fat people disgust her "
So what do you think about ME ?
My aunt and her daughters always have comments about other people's weight .
We can't go a family gathering without them saying something.
Its like they think they are better than everyone because they stay in shape.
I'm so happy that their comments no longer bother no more .
It feels like people have to talk about you to make themselves feel better .
Rosie Mercado is my inspiration
She has been working so hard to get healthier
She looks amazing
I'm not writing this post to tell everyone to lose weight .
But I've finally go to the point where I'm tired of walk up stairs and can't hardly breath
I'm tired of not being able to run and not feel like I'm dying afterwards
I'm losing this weight for myself
To make myself happy
To finally run an 5K ( Color Run )
I'm not trying to be a size 2
but I want to able to do the things I would love to do without my weight keeping me from doing it .
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." ~ Marilyn Monroe